Crazy Messages All Around.

Today was all about our trip to Helena.  We overslept and got off to a clunky start, but we were determined to see both Butte and Helena.  The first leg of the trip was to Butte (which some how turned to Boot-ay in our vernacular). We were very excited to have lunch at the best prospect for a great diner and to see a small local brewery.  The drive to Butte was exquisite but very long. There were long expanses of winding hills that were steep and neverending.  As we made our way through the mountains and the numerous and varied cattle ranches (who knew there was a thing called red angus?), we stumbled upon the sleepiest city I've ever seen.  At first sight, Butte seems large and full of possibilities. But as soon as we exited I-90 we saw a town that has long lost its will to live.  Still determined, we found the local diner and it's exterior was everything we had hoped for: kitschy, brightly colored, and totally quirky.  Unfortunately, it was Sunday and it was closed.  When we checked their website yesterday, it said they were open daily. Apparently, "daily" means every day EXCEPT Sunday? This was our first disappointment of the day.  And there were more to come.

Without a place for lunch, we set off to find a replacement venue.  We drove up and down and all over, but all of Butte seemed to be asleep.  We did, however, find many houses of worship (including what appeared to be a synagogue? There are Jewish people in Butte? Who knew!?). Finally, we found a funky restaurant called Sparky's Garage.  Remolded from an actual automobile repair shop, Sparky's was totally great to stumble upon.  The decor reminded us of the funky and odd trimmings that are now popular in chain restaurants but these were the originals.  The weird lights and wall hangings and other oddities were true vintage crap and we loved it.  Despite the fun and warm setting, the patrons were less than welcoming.  In fact, no fewer than five white women glared at me in the most hostile and confrontational manner. Could I be returning to my status as circus freak? Thankfully two overly enthusiastic members of the waitstaff came over to make sure we were okay.  This was comforting, I suppose, but also confirmed my status as urban harbinger.  And if this wasn't enough to make us eat quickly, there was a screaming toddler whose parents were ignoring him entirely and letting him simply wail until they were ready to leave.  Good times, indeed.

After a quick and simple lunch, we headed to the local brewery.  Also a renovated garage, the Quarry was awesome.  Since it was early and a Sunday, there were only a few patrons around which meant we could explore the territory freely.  My counterpart enjoyed sampling all of the beers and we had a great time simply hanging out in this super funky bar.  And before long, it was time to say farewell to Butte.  Despite the great service and atmosphere of the Quarry, I knew it would be a long time before I could ever return to this sad and disturbing place.

Back in the car, we headed to Helena.  We were again surrounded by beautiful landscapes (and to be honest, I think we're both over how great the mountains can look by this point!) and crazy characters. The first character was driving like a bat out of hell.  Based on the license plate which said RUGMAMA, we decided it best to avoid the unpredictable driver.  Of course this was easier said than done.  Once we finally past the car, we realized said "rugmama" was actually an older man who was very distracted and very dangerous (he almost had a terrible accident right in front of us). 

Our journey continued when we reached Helena.  The second brewery of the day was a "tap room" which had a strict set of rules and a weird receipt system to make sure patrons didn't enjoy the beer too much.  Luckily, the people and atmosphere were great so we hardly noticed the oddities of the place.  In fact, the people were so friendly that it got a little creepy.  While my counterpart was in the bathroom, I decided to reply to some of the text messages I had accumulated (one of the dangers of this small town living is that 90% of the time, you are without ANY form of cell service.  Beyond the social issues that this created, I was really worried about what would happen should we need roadside assistance.). Mid-text, a silver-haired cyclist playfully approached me and asked me to send him a text. I played along, afterall, this is a pleasant change from the circus freak feeling!  When my counterpart returned, I told him what happened and we discussed this trend of weird men approaching me when he leaves. 

About an hour later when we were ready to leave, my counterpart had to go to the bathroom again (I was filling him with beer all day and this was the price he had to pay) and we had a really odd and funny exchange.  My counterpart explained that he wanted to wait a little longer before going to the bathroom so that his last beer could settle in.  The idea was that if he waited, we might not have to stop on the way back to the hotel.  Of course this started a silly discussion which left me laughing as he went to the bathroom.  A different silver-haired fox joined in the laughter and said something to me that I couldn't quite make out so I asked him if he had heard our conversation. He said he hadn't but that I had just the sweetest laugh ever.  Aware that perhaps I was giving off some form of old dude pheromone, I ignored the flirtatious side of this and decided to discuss my laugh with him. I don't know what I thought this would do, but I really didn't know what kind of mojo I was sending out and it was all so weird.  Thankfully, my counterpart returned and disrupted silver fox #2's game.  We said our farewells and headed out of town.  Again, I explained to my counterpart what had happened and he was amazed that these men only approached me when he wasn't around. I tried explaining how/why this happened but he insisted it would be better if they did such crazy things where he could see them.  I let the logic of this go and instead we focused on giving ourselves a quick tour of Helena.  It was a nice city, but there wasn't much to do. And since the breweries had worked out so well, I opted out of the sapphire mining.  Hopefully we'll be able to find something equally cool in either Salt Lake City or Vegas.

As we were leaving Helena, we discovered another oddity: a MAN STORE.  In West Yellowstone, we saw the DUDE MOTEL and wondered what on earth people were thinking when they choosing such a name, but the MAN STORE seemed even more troubling.  We pulled over quickly and my counterpart hopped out to take a picture of the odd place.  I tried to convince him to go in so he could give me a full report, but he refused.  And I just couldn't bring myself to be the guinea pig! 

We made our way back to Bozeman for dinner and then headed back to Big Sky to call it a night.  En route back to the hotel, we stopped to photograph the billboard that started all of the craziness about signs today.  This morning on our way north, we noticed how many public service announcements were filling billboards. I was especially interested in one that featured a father shaving and a small boy watching.  The text read "Thanks dad for teaching me to respect mom and all other women."  I was totally surprised by the direct

address of how both good and bad learned behaviors are taught.  Moments later we encountered the billboard that kept resurfacing in our conversation all day. In fact, it was so intense and weird that we searched for it on the way back to the hotel so we could photograph it.  Unfortunately, one of the lights was out, so it's a little dark on the left side.  In case you can't read it and for the sake of emphasis, here's the text: BEFORE METH I HAD A DAUGHTER. NOW I HAVE A PROSTITUTE.  Provocative. Intense. Shocking.  Useful? It's unclear how many lives it will save, but it certainly got our attention and started at least one meaningful conversation!

Overall, it was a good day.  I'm not sure what I will make of all of these experiences, but I will keep sorting things out in the coming days.  Tomorrow we leave Big Sky and head to Jackson Hole. We will see some of Teton National Park en route to Jackson Hole, so hopefully there will be new wonderful pictures to share.  After Jackson and Teton, we will head to Salt Lake City.  Mapquest says we'll be in the car for 9+ hours tomorrow.  Here's hoping we can find a way to be nice to each other for that long!